I recall as a boy standing with both feet on my father’s hand. At first you might think this is an odd recollection, but he was a strong man and could easily lift me.
My father, Rudy Lang, circa 1954
On one occasion he laid on his back and stretched his hands over his head. With his arms wide apart and touching the ground he encouraged my younger brother Dan and me to each step onto the palm of one hand. Having a difficult time visualizing this? Imagine superman flying through the air with his hands outstretched in front of him, and lying on his back. Dan stepped on one hand and I on the other. Dad then proceeded to lift us up into the air (who needs a weight set when you’ve got growing boys). His hands were sure and steady, it always seemed so effortless for him to lift us. After that I was convinced, my dad really was superman.
Years later, whenever I brought one of my friends home from either the football team or wrestling team, dad would inevitably challenge them and me to a pull up contest. I had a chin up bar set up in my bedroom doorway. One evening, after we had all done as many chin ups as we could dad stepped up to the bar and grabbed it with his left hand (he was a lefty). But instead of also taking ahold of the bar with his right hand he grabbed his left wrist. In essence a one handed chin up. With great determination and strength he did one more pull up than the best of us. He always managed to do one more than us before quitting. I don’t recall him ever losing one of those contests.
“If you don’t have time for the important things, then you are not successful, just busy.”
Can you remember being somewhere with your children, someplace really crowded? The hustle and bustle? The absolute chaos? People, strangers, some alone and others in groups, hurrying in every direction. You know like the mall during the holidays, or at Disneyland on almost any day that school is out. Can your remember admonishing your children to stay close, stay together, and to hold your hand.
Years ago a father took his young daughter to her first Dodgers game. They had fun eating hot dogs and peanuts. For dessert they ate chocolate malts. They talked about the players, and the rules of the game. But mostly they just enjoyed spending time together. In the 7th inning they stood and sang ‘Take me out to the ball game’.
When the game was over the father got up from his seat and stepped into the aisle. He was in a hurry, wanting to beat the crowds. All 40,000+ fans were exiting the stadium towards the parking lots. He knew the sooner they got to their car the better.
“Hold my hand,” he said.
The little girl could barely hear her father’s words. She looked up and shook her head. Her eyes were wide as saucers. She was frightened by the noise and commotion. “Hold my hand,” she replied.
Fans were pressing their way up the stairs, the aisle was jam packed. The scene was becoming more chaotic. He gently, but with the sternness of a father repeated, “hold my hand.”
The little girl was frightened. “No,” she insisted. “You hold my hand.”
Anxious to exit the stadium and a little frustrated he leaned down impatiently and asked, “what does it matter?”
Looking into her fathers face she knew of his love for her. He was her dad, her hero and she trusted him with all her heart. In a tender voice she replied, “I'm tired and not very strong, if I get bumped into I might let go." She reached up with her delicate little hand. "But I know you will never let go.”
The father took a hold of his daughter’s hand. She was comforted by the security of his grasp, and he was forever committed to never let go.
Through the years your children may let go of your hand. They may become confused, distracted, tired or they may simply want to be on their own and choose to let go. They may, for a time, leave your side and abandon some of the values and principles you taught them. But with patience and unfailing love fathers can hold on. Maybe not always to their hands, but definitely to their hearts.
“‘Quality time’ alone, without ‘quantity time’, is like riding a bicycle up hill with only one foot on the pedals. It takes both feet on the pedals to climb today’s steep inclines.”
Yes, I know that traditionally Father’s Day is a day to honor our fathers. And that is as it should be. But Father’s Day can also be a day of reflection and re-commitment. I believe there is a real super hero, even a Superman, inside of every dad that can only be seen through the eyes of his children when he is being a true father.
Think about it fathers, what better day is there than Father’s day to put on your super hero outfit, and your cape and to do or fly to wherever you are needed. To reconnect with a wayfaring or lost child, to once again take ahold of hands that may have slipped away.
I'm sure my brothers and sister would agree, our father made time for the important things. For his love and example I am eternally grateful. And even though he has passed from this life, the gentle unwavering strength of his hands will forever hold our hearts and the hearts of his grandchildren.